Dalton Ross's Hit List of the week of Nov. 19, 2004 | EW.com

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Dalton Ross's Hit List of the week of Nov. 19, 2004

The 10 hottest topics for the week of Nov. 19, 2004

Dalton Ross’s Hit List of the week of Nov. 19, 2004

1 BRITNEY WRITES ANOTHER ONLINE LETTER TO FANS
She insists she’s still taking a break but that we’ll soon ”be able to get a taste of my fine hubby on a few covers.” And to think we went with Colin Farrell. What the hell were we smoking?!?

2 TONY DANZA GIVES AWAY MIAMI VACATIONS TO ENTIRE STUDIO AUDIENCE
Oprah hands out cars. Danza hands out vacations. I went to see Jane Pauley and all I got was a free nap.

3 BONO WILL APPEAR ON NEW VERSION OF ”DO THEY KNOW IT’S CHRISTMAS?”
”Well, tonight thank God it’s him instead of…Spandau Ballet.”

4 JESSICA SIMPSON PAID $10 MILLION TO DEVELOP FASHION LINE
And by ”develop” we mean chew Bubble Yum while other people do confusing things like…stitch.

5 BON JOVI TO BE PRESENTED WITH THE AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS AWARD OF MERIT
Honestly, I have to believe this is just so that host Jimmy Kimmel can say the words ”Tico Torres” over and over.

6 STUDY SHOWS THAT MINNESOTA IS THE HEALTHIEST STATE
Meanwhile, in a separate yet equally significant report, it was found that Minnesota is also ”as cold as a mother&%*¢@#!”

7 JIM HENSON’S MUPPETS WILL BE ON NEW POSTAL STAMPS
Does this mean I now have to lick the Swedish Chef, because I’m not sure I’m up for that.

8 CHARLIE SHEEN’S BABY TO APPEAR ON DAD’S SHOW
For therapists and E! True Hollywood Story producers, this could be a gold mine not seen since the rise and fall of the Coreys.

9 JOE PISCOPO GUEST-STARS ON LAW & ORDER
Sorry, I just felt the guy could use a plug. It’s not exactly like there are plans in the works for Captain Nuke and the Bomber Boys II.

10 THE POLAR EXPRESS OPENS
Now that’s a mustache!

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