They stalked the limo line for nine years at E!, but now Joan and Melissa Rivers have taken their brutally honest red-carpet show to the TV Guide Channel. ”Hibernation’s over. I wanna come out of the cave,” says the senior Rivers, who, after being contractually shut out of the Emmys by her former employers, returns to form at the Golden Globes on Jan. 16. Mother and daughter dish up a preview.
Are you finally getting the respect you deserve?
JOAN Oh, no. [Laughs] But they’re being very nice at TV Guide. Nobody’s been slapped down yet. What’s wonderful is the thinking out of the box.
Give us an example.
JOAN I’m doing it totally naked, to encourage women to kill themselves at 60.
MELISSA I’m going to be doing it blindfolded, so I don’t have to look at my mom naked.
Who are you counting on to look good at the Globes?
MELISSA Desperate Housewives!
JOAN And I can’t wait to see Julia Roberts, if her figure’s back.
What about the guys?
JOAN Who cares!
MELISSA You only notice the guys when they get it wrong.
JOAN Johnny Depp. He likes to dress—
MELISSA Okay, but this is where we differ! Sometimes I think he can look great.
Who might be a disaster?
MELISSA Maybe Björk will come — as a turkey instead of a swan.
JOAN Oh, wouldn’t that be nice? Maybe a salute to the sea turtle!
Are you guys going to talk to your E! replacement, Star Jones?
BOTH Of course!