TV's funniest quotes for the week of Mar 18, 2005 | EW.com

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TV's funniest quotes for the week of Mar 18, 2005

TV's funniest quotes for the week of Mar 18, 2005

”That is not in my contract at all.”
KELLY RIPA, AFTER GELMAN SAID REGIS’ PULLED GROIN NEEDED MASSAGING, ON LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY

”Anything that I can do, I’ll do it. As long as I ain’t showin’ nipple…My grandparents are dead. I have no one to disgrace!”
PROSPECTIVE SEMI-FINALIST RACHEL, ON AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

”I don’t know who that is, and I don’t care to find out.”
LUCILLE (JESSICA WALTER), TALKING ABOUT JIMMY KIMMEL, ON ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

”Jay Leno has been subpoenaed as a witness in the Michael Jackson trial, so Leno may be banned from doing Michael Jackson jokes. As a result, Jay Leno has been put on suicide watch.”
CONAN O’BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT