Okay, okay, so we started with an easy one. We wept softly as we read your emails, most of which contained some combination of the words “duh,” “easy,” and “try harder.” Jackals! All of you!
Like a proud papa, though, we saw through our tears that approximately 150 percent of you knew that Paul Walker is the common element among Pleasantville, She’s All That, Timeline, and Varsity Blues. Your IMDb advanced search skills astound us.
So, a little backstory: We asked this question to test how memorable Walker’s performances are since we, film buffs all, kept forgetting all the movies in which he’d appeared. But, you know, we’re old and senile and stuff. Thanks for reminding us – and for disproving our theory. (Ginkgo biloba time! Yum! Yum!)
But we did ask you to be creative, and sadly, not many of you were. Boo! More than one of you called in from Capeside to claim a Dawson’s Creek conspiracy, but, well, no. Though there are a few crossovers, there is, as far as we can tell, no DC connection to Timeline. What did stick out, however, was how you chose to describe Walker and his acting abilities (lots of quotation marks to express irony – we’ve taught you well…):
“the freakin’ beautiful blue eyed man” (Joyce Okoth)
“his blond God-ness! Yummy!” (Julie Syers)
“a young Redford perhaps” (Carlos Perkins)
“the limited, dial-a-jock acting range…” (Fredric Shelley)
“half-actor” (Chris Bramble)
“Paul ‘I’ve seen moldy cheese with more charisma’ Walker” (Cullin Weiskopf)
“the always underwhelming and hideously one-note Paul Walker” (David Beerman)
“…his vast range *rolls eyes*…” (Andy Feldman)
“the blond Keanu” (nice try, Mike Parrilla, but we think Fametracker coined this one first)
“the author of 10 Ways to Emote While Looking Really Blond and Manly” (Mario Olalde)
“2001’s second-favorite It boy” (Christina Warren, who puts Josh Harnett at No. 1)
“the oldest high schooler and ‘accomplished’ actor…” (Matthew Bussey)
Walker next pops up in Into the Blue (Sept. 30), where he and Jessica Alba play deep-sea treasure hunters. Will you go see it? And will you remember it? Will we?
You’ve raised the bar, my little brainiacs, so next time will be harder. Put yer thinkin’ caps on!