1 FAN PROPOSES TO GIRLFRIEND AT PAUL MCCARTNEY CONCERT Awwwwwww. Just further proof that silly love songs aren’t so silly after all. (Except when they are actually titled ”Silly Love Songs.”)
2 STARBUCKS TO SELL ROLLING STONES ALBUM In exchange, Keith Richards gets pumpkin spice latte dialysis. Start me up!
3 JANET JACKSON REFUTES CLAIM SHE AND JAMES DEBARGE HAD A DAUGHTER IN THE 1980S Now Willis, on the other hand… That’s the very special episode of Diff’rent Strokes you didn’t get to see.
4 MARCIA CROSS SAYS THE HOUSEWIVES NEED TO ”START SPENDING A LITTLE MORE TIME TOGETHER” Producer Marc Cherry thanked her for the suggestion…and then locked her in the basement.
5 TYRA BANKS DRESSES UP AS PARIS HILTON FOR HALLOWEEN Move over, Dracula! Step aside, Frankenstein! Take off, Wolfman! This has to be the absolute scariest costume idea ever.
6 SAW II DOMINATES THE BOX OFFICE That creepy tricycle-riding puppet is now asking for six digits against ”something gross.”
7 ACTIVISTS PROTEST GUN IN 50 CENT MOVIE BILLBOARD Protesters schmotesters. What are they gonna do, shoot someone?
8 GERARD DEPARDIEU SAYS HE IS ENDING HIS FILM CAREER Looks like France’s grueling 35-hour work week finally caught up with him.
9 THE WHITE SHADOW ON DVD Salami still has to go down as one of the best TV character names of all time, right alongside my main man Boner. (How exactly do you get someone named Boner on network TV, anyway? Slip the censor a Mickey?)
10 CRAIG FERGUSON TO HOST PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARDS Evidently the one thing the people can not choose is the host.