Lil’ Kim Sentenced to the Big House JULY 6
Rapper Lil’ Kim gets 366 days in prison for perjury and conspiracy stemming from an earlier trial over a 2001 shoot-out involving her entourage. On Sept. 19, Kim enters a Philly jail, where she’ll spend time writing new songs. Good luck to her finding something to rhyme with ”my jumpsuit is orange.”
Law Offers a Mea Culpa JULY 18
Jude Law publicly apologizes to fiancée Sienna Miller for an affair he had with his children’s nanny. By year’s end the couple is reportedly back together, and romantics assume the young lovers will now stay together until they grow old…or at least until he’s waited on by a really hot waitress at Chuck E. Cheese’s.
Sony Pays for Payola JULY 25
Sony BMG is fined $10 million, which will go to music education programs, after New York State attorney general Eliot Spitzer busts them for payola — bribing DJs and programmers into giving more airtime to Sony artists such as Jennifer Lopez and Franz Ferdinand. The company vows to stop the practice, a pledge also made by Warner Music Group four months later, when they pay $5 million for their payola misdeeds. Hopefully Spitzer will now dig deeper, looking into what kind of payoffs the fart-sound-effect industry is slipping wacky morning DJs.
Abdul Vindicated AUG. 12
A review by Fox-appointed lawyers finds no evidence for ex-American Idol contestant Corey Clark’s claim that he and Paula Abdul had an affair, and suggests she not be fired. Meanwhile, a sexual-harassment claim filed against Simon Cowell by his mirror is still outstanding.