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Cruise's Parade of defenders

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15252__cruise_l_1Turns out a lot of people feel that Tom Cruise has been persecuted. And it turns out a lot of those people are computer programs.

In a recent Parade.com poll, 84% of respondents said the media was to blame for Cruise’s ridiculous year, and that the known furniture-batterer did not bring his image problems on
himself.

This seems to have aroused some suspicions at Parade. Some quick checking revealed that 14,000 (of the 18,000+ votes) were cast from only 10 computers. Hmmm. In fact, one computer was responsible for nearly 8,400 votes blaming the media for Tom’s troubles.

This can mean only one thing: Computers love Tom Cruise. My computer, for example, rattles on and on about how Cruise was robbed of his Jerry Maguire Oscar, and how it’s ludicrous that Katie has been “reprogrammed” because “I think I know a thing or two about reprogramming, and that girl doesn’t even look rebooted,” and yadda yadda, on and on, in that creepy computer voice. It also keeps changing my wallpaper to this particularly hideous still from Born on the Fourth of July.

So I guess that’s the explanation. What, do you have a better idea what’s going on? Do tell.

Originally posted April 18 2006 — 8:48 PM EDT

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