1 Britney says her baby is her religion This explains the faith-based approach to car seats.
2 Dogs trained to sniff for pirated DVDs The dogs are adept at sniffing out Star Wars prequels, then rolling in them.
3 James Frey says second book is only partly true On the whole, though, Prove I Didn’t Just Totally Cure Cancer is rigorously factual.
4 Paris Hilton videogame to debut Midgame, Paris stops to take a call. Donkey Kong looks pissed.
5 Sharon Stone requests shoes for poor children Poor children request panties for Sharon Stone.
6 Ashlee Simpson won’t discuss alleged nose job And overnight, ”Pieces of Me” goes from crap to literal-minded crap.
7 Stern, CBS near settlement It involves the transfer of several million stripper midgets to the Caymans.
8 Stallone wants 8-foot Rocky statue on the steps of a Philly museum The city, however, cites separation of Stallone and state.
9 Brangelina reportedly mulling a line of African housewares Finally, subsistence-farming products tailored to the needs of wealthy celebrities.
10 David Blaine now wishes to ”live harmoniously among wild beasts” David Blaine: Eaten by Leopards is expected to be his biggest ratings bonanza yet.