Scott Brown
May 31, 2006 AT 05:08 AM EDT

Applying the “What’s Weirder?” test to rock musicians is one of those rabbit holes from which even the most nimble philosopher is unlikely to escape.

Nonetheless, we soldier on:

What’s weirder?

A. James “You’re Beautiful” Blunt invites “bastards who hate my music” to <a href=”
“>vote with their radios. They do, and now Blunt is enjoying the business-end of democracy.

B. Jared Leto says he was just joshing the other day when he claimed he was <a href=”
“>”gay as a goose.” This raises several questions, the most important being: How gay is a goose? And if the saying is true, and what is good for the goose is good for the gander, how do geese even keep their gay stereotypes straight? So to speak? (I’m confused.)

C. ”Won’t Get Fooled Again” atop The National Review‘s list of the 50 Most Conservative Rock Songs? Pete Townshend’s <a href=”
“>having none of it. He’s also <a href=”
“>having none of Jack White, whom he claims he could “outdo” with “a guitar and a [expletive deleted] drum machine.”

(Click the jump to see Scott’s answer…)

addCredit(“Jared Leto: George Pimentel/”)

It’s gotta be B. Oh, it’s the goose all the way, baby. It’s always fun to seeHollywood’s barely (yet strenuously) concealed ambisexuality leak outinto the mainstream media. Who knows if Leto’s bi, tri, trans, ora-sexual — and who cares? (Okay, ladies who’ve already invested in hisposters, I suppose.) The point is: Leto is promoting his band usingorientational vagueness — something that harks back to a glammier time.In these days of strict and hyperpoliticized sexual taxonomy, that’skind of refreshing.

It’s also kind of refreshing to see the phrase “gay as a goose”circulating again. I suspect it hasn’t been used since around about theSpanish-American War, when it probably referred to “tippling.” Ofcourse, that was also back when “polishing the bishop” meant polishing anactual bishop.

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