Scott Brown
June 15, 2006 AT 12:00 PM EDT

These superheroes, man. Why they gotta throw it in your face?

Spider-Man has come out… as Peter Parker. It’s in the latest edition of Marvel’s “Civil War” story arc. In the Marvel-verse, there’s apparently a debate raging over secret identities, with some heroes feeling they should stand and be counted (and registered) from purposes of transparency and safety. Others (including ultrapatriot Captain America) disagree.

Forgive me, but I’ve got to question the timing of this announcement. Just as Superman’s buzz builds (along with his own set of coming-out rumors), Spidey jumps into the limelight with his own unmasking. I’m not making any accusations. I’m just saying: Maybe a certain arachnoid emo-boy is aligning his politics with his publicity machine.

Again, I’m not slinging mud. But superheroes know how the game works. Don’t be surprised when the Blue Beetle files a frivolous lawsuit against Volkswagen on June 27.

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