Insanely offensive yet strangely lovable, faux Kazakhstani TV personality Borat, famed from Sacha Baron Cohen’s hit HBO comedy series Da Ali G Show, hits the big screen with this documentary chronicle of his quest to better understand America. Here, Borat himself gives us scattered pieces of his mind. People of U.S. and A., you’ve been warned.
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: What are some of your personal favorite movies?
BORAT: My favourites movies is Robot Cop. Womanman Doubtfire, Little Lord Fontelroy, Transsibierskiy Ekspress 2, Gerald McGuire and sex comedy The Accused.
Who are your favorite male and female movie stars and why?
I very much like Kazakh film hero Viktor Hotelier (you probably know him from blockbusters movie Almaty Summer). I also very much like the new James Bond, Roger Moore. I like female cartoon Kazakh superbhero by name ”Astounding Woman.” She have amazing strength that she use to pull a full-sized plough for up to 42 hours without food or water.
As a TV journalist, which American TV journalists do you admire most and why?
I like very much Barbara Walters. She is unlike any Kazakh woman I have seen, she have no hair on her face or chest, and her teeth grow only on inside of her mouth.
What is the biggest difference between working with a major Hollywood movie studio like Fox and working in the film and TV industry in Kazakhstan?
Kazakh films is more realistics. In Hollywood movie The Gladiator, it obvious the tigers was not actual eat those criminal, whereas in Kazakh movie Angry Snakes on a Gypsy Boat, over 85,000 extras was actually attacked and finished by the pythons. I think Hollywoods can learn from this and be prepare to spend extra money for make movies look real.
Also rating system of two countries is a slight different. In my country you must be at least 18-year-old for watch scenes containing uncaged women, and for view explicit sexytime you must be at least 3.
What do you think the people back home in Kazakhstan will think of the movie?
This movie have already been release in Kazakhstan and was blockbusterings! It open simultaneous on all seven of our country’s screens and take top spot from Hollywood movie King Kong — which had been number one film in Kazakhstan ever since it was release in 1933.
What would Americans be most surprised to learn about life in Kazakhstan?
That it actual very modern country that have many things similar to U.S. and A. For examples, we have event exact the same as your Super Bowls — only slight difference is, instead of 80,000 sportfans who gather in arena, it is 100,000 shepherds who come down from the Tinshein Hills and gather in field and when they get there instead of look on footballs game, they drink fermented horse urine and then dig a big hole and fill it with dogs and Uzbekis and then throw potatoes on them for two days. Then they eat a soup made from spicy vegetables and then return to the hills.
We also have daytime game shows very like your Jeopardys — our most popular one have name ”Gypsy Bingo” where we put numbers on back of 20 gypsies. Contestant have to bet on which number will manage to reach other side of minefield.
I would like invite people who read this to come visit Kazakhstan. It now democratic, free nation, with cleanest prostitutes in all of Central Asia (except of course for Turkmenistan’s). Also it have world-class shopping at new supermall ”Almaty Shop City,” which is actual built on three levels! They connected by Central Asia’s first electric staircase (which did NOT swallow and grind those two schoolchildrens).
How do you think being a movie star will change your life? Are your friends and family afraid you’ll ”go Hollywood”?
I do not think this a problem as I already number four most famous person in Kazakhstan behind our glorious leader, Premier Nazarbayev, pop star Billy Sexcrime, ex-Olympic gymnast Lily Utmarkan (she now work in Kazakh State Circus, where she famous for putting one foot in mouth while other is in her [CENSORED BY KAZAKHSTAN BUREAU OF COMMUNICATION AND FOREIGN AFFAIRS]) — and acting chimpanzee ”Jonny the Monkey” (he dress like Humphrey Bogarts and smoke cigarette, but very sadly he recent die making monkey Evel Knievel movie. He was intend to jump swimming pool on motorcycle, but he crash in water and drown because his hands had been glued too strong on handlebars. Goodbye, Jonny — we miss you).
If you could bring one thing from the U.S. back to Kazakhstan, what would it be and why?
I would like bring back all the best friends I make on my travels. I like you very much. Please call me in Kazakhstan and we will make chitchat on telephones. My number is Kazakhstan 142. Chenquieh.