Cheese aficionados, mark your calendars: We’re officially less than a month away from the Sept. 12 season premiere of Dancing With the Stars, and the cast for the show’s third installment got announced on today’s Good Morning America. The 11 folks who’ll straddle the tricky line between career rehabilitation and immolation include: Jerry Springer, Vivica A. Fox, MSNBC host Tucker Carlson (as Susman warned you Friday), Blossom’s Joseph ”Joey” Lawrence, NFL star Emmit Smith, Saved by the Bell’s Mario Lopez (pictured), one-hit wonder Willa ”I Wanna Be Bad” Ford, High School Musical’s Monique Coleman, country star Sara Evans, Harry Hamlin (husband of the show’s new co-host, Lisa Rinna), and Shanna Moakler of Meet the Barkers.
Now seeing as former pop heartthrobs Joey McIntyre and Drew Lachey finished third and first respectively in DWTS’ first two seasons, I’d say Lawrence has a good shot to go far this year, provided he brings what he brung to his super-dope video for 1993’s ”Nothin My Love Can’t Fix.” Ch-ch-check it.
That said, aren’t all these chumps really running for second money up against Copperhead? Seriously, the way Vivica A. Fox’s middle initial puts the “A” in ass-kicking, she could probably slay that bow-tied talking-head dude with a simple sideways glance, don’tcha think? Carrie Ann Inaaaahhhba, you’ve been warned.