Scott Brown
August 14, 2006 AT 12:00 PM EDT

As we learned in the last X-Men movie, a) mutants watch their own web parodies, and b) it’s highly unlikely that Fox will ever reassemble its mutant all-star team for a fourth installment.

With Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine movie in the works and the rest of the grown-ups priced out of range, a proper X4 will probably never happen. But there are other possibilities: Which would you like to see?

1. A “Young Magneto” movie has been proposed. According to script spies, the scene where Mr. Miyagi exhorts him to “make these paper clips your bitch” is particularly moving.

2. There’s the oft-discussed Saved by the Genetic Anomaly: The New Class approach, which shifts the focus to Prof. X’s younger students: Bobby “Iceman” Drake, Kitty “Shadowcat” Pryde, Piotr “Colossus” Rasputin, and David “Mildly ADD” Micklethwait.

3. The bold approach: three hours of watching Prof. X try to pry his consciousness out of that coma victim’s body, culminating in a triumphant finger twitch. It will be the My Dinner with Andre of comic-book movies, and I will make it myself, using nothing but a vintage camcorder, audio snipped from old Next Generation episodes, and a very lazy friend.

Or perhaps you’d like to see something else? Make your last stand below.

addCredit(“Wolverine: Nels Israelson”)

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