What series are you breaking up with this fall? | EW.com

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What series are you breaking up with this fall?

93845__csi_l

93845__csi_lDear CSI: Miami:

We’ve both been going through the motions for a while now: me, recording you on the bedroom DVR, then dozing off before you’ve had a chance to show me your “shocking” weekly twists; you, offering up increasingly nonsensical crimes and culprits, and trying to woo me with intimate details about your characters’ personal lives. We’ve got to face facts. This isn’t working anymore for either one of us – certainly not the blush-worthy Horatio-Marisol murdered bride subplot! – and, well, I think we should see other people.

Seriously. Think about it. You can get down with folks who think it’s interesting and/or funny to watch David Caruso remove his Aviators mid-line reading. And me, well, actually, I’ve already sort of met someone else. Over at NBC. It’s just in the early stages, but so far, so good. And no, it’s got nothing to do with the fact that its title starts with Stud and ends with Strip. It’s just that Aaron Sorkin’s drama gives me what you never have: smart, crackling dialogue; unexpected characters, like Sarah Paulson’s complex, religious comedienne; and, yeah, Nate Corddry.

Whew. Yeah, I’m glad we’ve cleared the air too. And sure, if you promise to occasionally remove Adam Rodriguez’s shirt, and give more screen time to smart, sexy Emily Procter, then I wouldn’t rule dropping by CBS during non-sweeps months and totally hitting it with you.

Fondly,

Michael Slezak

P.S. I hope you won’t mind if PopWatch readers use this item to publicly break up with their one-time regular series. I think it’ll be healthy for everyone involved.