Michael Slezak
September 08, 2006 AT 07:37 PM EDT

As far as I’m concerned, this picture (of John Travolta on the set of Hairspray) is worth three very special words: Beat. This. Caption. So do your best, PopWatchers. (And try to keep it clean.)

My best attempt:

With Kirstie Alley 75 pounds lighter, Showtime gets creative in casting the second season of Fat Actress.

Now you.

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