To paraphrase the great poet Matthew Wilder, last month I had the strangest (and most elaborate) dream – about Jennifer Lopez, of all people. And that’s why when I read this morning that J. Lo.’s new Spanish-language single, “Que Hiciste?”, sprang from one of hubby Marc Anthony’s wacky phantasmas – the late singer Rocío Dúrcal appeared to him in his sleep, armed with the track’s melody – I came to the realization: Stars, they’re just like us: unable to avoid the occasional sleep-induced celebrity sighting.
Anyhow, in my dream, I had an assignment to do a feature story on J. Lo. for EW, which inexplicably resulted in her inviting my husband and me out to dinner. J. Lo. answered the door of her apartment in a kicky white dress with a red bow on the back – one that looked quite a bit like Robert’s week 1 frock from Project Runway – then began expressing her fear that she wasn’t going to make a good impression. At one point, she did a whirling little dance, sang a few bars of a song, and told me it was a sneak preview of her new video. While she did this, I became fixated on the huge, dramatic doors in her apartment, which were intricately carved with these gorgeous designs, and painted in bright, primary colors. (Come to think of it, they looked a lot like a kitchen table I once saw in Mexico, and have always regretted not buying.) Anyhow, J. Lo. called the restaurant where we were supposed to dine, but when the manager told her it was crowded, she asked (very apologetically) if I’d mind just ordering in. I told her that of course I wouldn’t – I’m a down-to-earth kinda guy, after all – and seconds later, the two of us (hubby evaporated into thin air by this point) dug in to a foil container of salad and chips. And then the alarm woke me up.
Anyhow, PopWatchers, you know what this all means. No, not that I need to cut back on the mojito intake. And no, not that projected onto a screen, my dreams might resemble some kind of hellish role-call of Will & Grace guest-stars. But rather, that you have no choice but to head to the comments below and share your favorite celebrity dream. Be sure to keep it real, and more importantly, keep it clean! This is about your dreams, not your Wentworth Miller/Natalie Portman fantasies. Sheesh!