''Laguna Beach'': It's breakup season! | EW.com

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''Laguna Beach'': It's breakup season!

On ''Laguna Beach,'' Rocky's boyfriend Alex celebrates breakup season by dumping her at a beach party and then getting Lexie's number

”Laguna Beach”: It’s breakup season!

”It’s like breakup season right now.” Oh, wise Kyndra, you were so right. Although who knew breaking up had a season, like football season and wedding season? Should I be writing this down in my planner? (By the way, don’t worry: Your usual TV Watcher, Jennifer Armstrong, hasn’t broken up with you. She’s on assignment but will be back next week.)

The major breakup of the episode was Rocky and Alex’s, which was somewhat surprising because they seemed like the only couple who stood a chance. What happened to sweet and caring Alex? The Alex who held Rocky’s hand when she faced Breanna at her pool party? And the Alex who told Rocky he loved her? Where’s that guy? I’ll bet he’s been taken to the island of Guys Who Were Once Awesome But Now Suck. There’s just no other explanation.

Their beachside breakup attempt No. 1 was a tad brutal. I would never want to hear a guy tell me, ”I don’t know if I want to be in a gnarly relationship like this.” Rocky should’ve walked away then, but instead she stuck around until she forced Alex into promising to see where it goes. (She even offered to change for him. Tsk-tsk, Rocky, you should have more confidence than that!) Little did she know Alex already had other girls on his mind.

Welcome back, Lexie! We’ve missed you on Wednesday nights. Her appearance was an important one: to confirm that Alex is actually ”kind of cute” [insert cackles here by the anti-Rocky fans across the world] and to invite him to a bonfire, which he probably should’ve been invited to by his, ahem, girlfriend. This development prompted an oh-so-typical exchange between Alex and his friend Stephen:

Stephen: Does Rocky know about the bonfire? I’m sure she does.

Alex: I have no idea. Probably.

Stephen: ‘Cause there are pretty cute girls there, you know. [Looking over at Lexie and her friend Rachel] There they are right there! That’s going to be bad news, man.

Alex: You’re bad news.

Stephen: Y’know, maybe you shouldn’t go with Rocky.

Oh, high school love, always so genuine and honest.

Here’s a question: Can we ever get through a season of Laguna without a bonfire? I guess not. At least it provides a place for cliques to come together in drama-free unity, right?

At said bonfire, Kyndra and Cami were busy complaining about the sand and the smell of bonfire (those two are just so hard to please) and talking about themselves in the third person (”Kyndra’s bored”). Tessa’s and Rocky’s boys were busy avoiding them, which made me feel really bad because those are the only two girls I somewhat like this season. (Okay, except for the fact that when Tessa talks, she only moves her bottom lip, which is really starting to get on my nerves.) Unlike the rest of their high school, they seem somewhat down to earth and intelligent, and after this episode, I’m beginning to think that’s Laguna code for ”Hey, boys, walk all over us — we don’t mind.”

I’m glad Alex worked up the nerve to finally dump Rocky because it was getting annoying hearing him talk about her behind her back and then doing nothing about it when he had the chance. It was incredibly inconsiderate of him, though, to break things off with one girl with the excuse that he didn’t want to be tied down and then literally ask for another girl’s number only one minute later! What is this, Temptation Island?

What do you think? What’s going to happen with Lexie and Alex? What turned Derek off to Tessa so fast? Will Rocky and Nick W. be the next it couple? And will Cami and Kyndra ever learn to appreciate the beach?