Michael Slezak
October 30, 2006 AT 08:20 PM EST

In the same way that orange juice isn’t just for breakfast anymore, neither is violently bumping off series regulars on Sundays at 9 p.m. the sole territory of The Sopranos. Indeed, as the previews for next week’s Desperate Housewives seem to promise, somebody’s about to pay the ultimate price for drama’s sake. (Yay!) And while I realize Tom’s baby mama Nora (Kiersten Warren), quite possibly the most annoying character in a primetime universe that includes Horatio Caine and Ryan Seacrest, is the popular choice to go knockin’ on heaven’s door, let me suggest an alternate victim: the incredibly shrinking plumber, Mike Delfino.

Think about it — not only does James Denton (pictured, with Teri Hatcher) appear to have hired Kate Bosworth’s dietitian (negating his character’s all important hunk factor), but he’s also turned post-coma Mike into a bizarrely blank beast. Yes, the dude is supposed to be suffering from partial memory loss, but how’d his personality get misplaced in the equation? Better still, by taking Mike out back with a can of tuna, the writers can free Susan from a third full season of will-they-or-won’t-they hijinks and allow Edie to return to her patented brand of bed-hopping. Are you with me, PopWatchers, or would you rather see a different character check out during the Great Supermarket Massacre?

addCredit(“Desperate Housewives: Ron Tom/ABC”)

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