Hannah Tucker
October 31, 2006 AT 05:00 AM EST

The ”Weeds” season finale: The guns come out

You all picked the big, fat cliff-hanger option as what you were hoping for in the finale, right? Nothing could possibly top season 1’s finale, which was simple, sudden, and totally unexpected. The events in this season ender, by comparison, seemed a long time coming. Not that it wasn’t entertaining — I’m already getting antsy thinking about season 3 and wondering how Nancy, Conrad, Silas — okay, basically everybody except Lupita — is going to get out of his or her respective fix. Let’s review the loose ends:

Silas, with half a million bucks’ worth of hydro in the trunk, is about to get nabbed for stealing Celia’s anti-drug paraphernalia.

Shane (too blissed out with love to comprehend the situation) is on the lam with Kat, $1.3 million in Canadian casino chips, and an Ultimate Fighter bounty hunter on their tail.

Andy made out with Celia (which is technically legal), so he is at risk of getting punched in the ear, neck, or other upper-body part by Dean.

Dean and Doug are trying to kill each other in someone’s living room, and nobody seems to care.

Peter is dead…maybe.

Nancy, still clutching her Diet Coke, is surrounded by scary men with large guns and has neither an ounce nor a penny to give them.

Presumably, none of this would’ve happened in Pittsburgh.

Where would you place Peter’s chances of survival? The more I think about it, the more I’m inclined to put Agent Wonderbread in the alive-and-kickin’ column. The guys who claim to have offed him are just armed flunkies — a highly traitorous category. And Peter has proved he’s a sly one; he could have persuaded them to make it look as if he were dead in exchange for…what? A bigger cut of the profits? A romantic dinner for three? A lifetime supply of oranges? As for Nancy, if she is shot dead, it’s extremely unlikely she will transform into a huge pile of pot. This could buy her some time with U-Turn and Heylia’s henchmen. Perhaps, in the meantime, Sanjay will have found a canister of tear gas in a dark corner of the closet he’s hiding in and come to the rescue. Yeah, I’m not holding my breath for that one, either.

In any case, I’m going to leave this particular pickle to the Weeds writers, since they always come up with something much better than I could have. Overall, it was a thoroughly amusing season — not quite as sharp as the first, but full of the loopy humor and wry social satire I’ve come to depend on every Monday. Man, the psychological withdrawal is starting already….

What did you think of this season and the finale? Post away, and as always, be blunt.

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