Chris Willman
November 10, 2006 AT 05:00 AM EST

It was rampaging divas night at the COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS, testing our abilities to lip-read and distinguish comedy from rage. Fans are still debating whether Faith Hill was furious or kidding (as reps claimed) when she greeted Carrie Underwood’s Female Vocalist win with an exaggerated ”Whaaat?” Also briefly miming was guitar-smashing Miranda Lambert, who’d been asked by producers to go off-mic when she got to the word b—- in her new ”Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.” On the red carpet, several female performers glammed it up for their entrances, then dressed down for their performances. Whereas most guys — including Rascal Flatts (one trophy) and Brad Paisley (two) — just showed up in jeans. The telecast handily won Monday’s ratings war with 16 million viewers, roughly on par with 16.2 mil for the last big awards show, the Emmys. Just imagine if everybody watching Faith’s ”freak-out” over and over on YouTube got counted.

The 13-year-old ‘Hannah Montana’ star saw her Petro Zillia dress and thought: ”Aunt Dolly [Parton] would totally love if I wore this!” Okay, but all we’re thinking is: Do you really have the No. 1 album?

”I never go to a show thinking I have to dress like this,” said Crow in vintage Hervé Léger. Okay, but all we’re thinking is: What are you doing here? Recording a country album, she revealed to EW.

Most of the men wore cowboy hats, blazers, and jeans. Because a gentleman never overshadows his lady. (Wait, was that too sincere?)

”I would never wear a dress on a red carpet,” said Wilson in her Dolce & Gabbana jacket and True Religion jeans. We wish she would.

The secret to the Sugarland singer’s look? (Here, she’s wearing a backless dress by Kaufman-Franco.) ”Stylists, honey, stylists.”

Looking good is the best revenge (ahem…Faith), and the singer glittered in a custom diamond gown by Kwiat and David Rodriguez worth about $850,000.

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