I’m not so above it all that I’ll deny tapping my foot when Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated” comes on the radio. But her new single, “Keep Holding On,” is, quite simply, a heinoustry. Yes, I know that’s not a real word, but I don’t want to sully the adjective heinous – which has been quite good to me through the years, and deserves a special Emmy for its work in the opening credits of Law & Order: SVU – by associating it with this piece of dreck from the Eragon soundtrack. C’mon, say it with me, “heinoustry!” It’ll distract you from Avril’s lyrics, which (I kid you not) begin with the following words: “You’re not alone/ Together we stand/ I’ll be by your side/ You know I’ll take your hand.” (OMG, I think she, like, totally stole that from my eighth-grade Trapper Keeper!) Even worse, Avril sings the word together like it’s pronounced “to-gah-thuh.” Seriously, ugh, I have to go chug gin or dip a Q-Tip in Clorox right now and clean my ears till they bleed. And either way, that’s no way to start the morning. Don’t take my word for it, though. “Keep Holding On” is streaming right now at AOL Music. What think ye?
Posted January 18 2015 — 7:47 AM EST
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