Nip/Tuck’s resident lesbian finally gets the girl — played for three episodes by the Grammy-winning singer, who hints that Maffia’s not a bad kisser (she oughta know!).
Roma Maffia This is the fourth season. So I said to [Nip/Tuck creator] Ryan Murphy, ”Please! Can I have a girlfriend?” I wasn’t sure who it would be, though.
Alanis Morissette I was very happy to be your girlfriend.
RM I freaked out when I learned it was you. You’re this incredible singer whose CD is in my car. I asked you what it’s like to play in front of thousands of people.
AM It’s much scarier to perform in front of a small group…
RM …which I understand totally. You’re much more vulnerable.
AM I think everyone is born with a handful of talents they may or may not use, but I’ve always acted, sung, and danced.
RM Your favorite?
AM I don’t really like to categorize myself. I feel like my expression takes different forms.
RM That’s because you’re a Gemini.
AM It’s true! You’re a Gemini too. You’re May 31, I’m June 1. [Maffia is 48; Morissette is 32.]
RM We did our homework, baby.
AM We found out how f—ed-up we both were, and how we wanted to control everything…
RM …at any given moment…
AM …because I was directing in my mind and [you were] directing traffic, and we both did a double take and went, ”Aah, you’re controlling, too!”
RM Our first scene together was when we were kissing in the break room. Not a lot of rehearsal. We were game for it, though.
AM Our first kiss was fun, like we’d been dating awhile.
RM We don’t know how our characters met, so we have to make it up. I was thinking since we’re both anesthesiologists…
AM We probably met at a convention?
RM That’s what I was thinking!
AM I found out you were divorced, so then I made my move — maybe?
RM See? She’s laying my story out.
AM Your reputation precedes you. I was told you were the easiest person to be around.
RM What you didn’t know is that people have been singing your songs off camera. I’m like, What if she hears? What if it doesn’t make her happy?
AM I woulda been pulled straight outta character.
RM You were great. You said, ”Just as long as they don’t make me sing.”
AM Yeah, it’s like my grandma asking me to sing at Thanksgiving.
RM People do that to you?
AM Sometimes. I went to this resort a little while ago — I’m on f—ing vacation! — and they’re like, ”Hey, maybe at dinner you can do some acoustic stuff?”