Michael Slezak
December 15, 2006 AT 12:00 PM EST

PopWatchers, it’s Slezak here, and I need someone to talk me off the ledge. For the last 31 hours, I’ve been fantasizing about tracking down the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association and feeding each one a sandwich de knuckles. I know this is at odds with the spirit of the season. Visions of sugarplums — not nunchucks and assorted Medieval weaponry — should be dancing in my head. But every time I sneak a peek at the list of actresses nominated for this year’s Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries or TV Movie (which, I’ll admit, I’ve been doing every 15 minutes) I’m left with the same question: WHERE THE L IS VANESSA (L. YEAH!) WILLIAMS? And then, the white-hot rage (and a mild case of heartburn) returns. (Sarah Paulson? Seriously?)

Riddle me this: Did Globes voters miss the episode where Willy so memorably hissed the funniest line on television all season: “Did you just gesture at me when you said Kwanzaa?” Were they foraging for food in their fridges when she cracked open a church collection box with her designer boot? Have they forgotten her eerie/touching monologue to Justin at the end of “Fey’s Sleigh Ride”? How about Willy’s priceless facial expression in response to Marc’s “Someone got their hair did” remark?

I know, I know, other folks were robbed of Globes nominations yesterday, too (we even created an entire photo gallery devoted to your picks for the most egregious omissions). But keeping in mind the HFPA is usually more hip to new and noteworthy shows and performances than their Emmy counterparts, I really thought Williams, the most delectable scene-stealer of 2006, was a shoo-in. And yet, she got nothin’. And I don’t know how to move on. Any suggestions that don’t involve placing myself on a steady mojito drip from now till Jan. 15 would be much appreciated.

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