1 Britney files for divorce Something tells me the Fed will be slashing rates tomorrow.
2 Tom Ford has new scent It kind of followed him home from Port Authority.
3 Donovan, citing war in Iraq, tours again Now more than ever, we need live bootlegs of ”Mellow Yellow.”
4 Russell Crowe says phone-throwing incident would’ve been settled with a handshake in Australia And if that didn’t work, the matter would be appealed to Australia’s supreme judicial body: Thunderdome.
5 Survivor creator to launch pirate-themed reality show Pirates will compete against other pirates, while baring their souls in a series of teary int-arrr-views.
6 Madonna says media fanned adoption controversy And that she will take the firstborn of each offending journalist.
7 Joan Rivers complains her dog expired the day before 9/11, ”so no one knew he died” You know, when Joan was just 104, her gerbil expired on the eve of D-Day.
8 Tom Waits once threatened to kill The Howdy Doody Show’s Buffalo Bob The singer is also wanted for the flaying of Slim Goodbody.
9 Diddy wants to be the first black Bond He says Brosnan’s Black Irish Bond was ”a step in the right direction.”
10 Demi Moore says Bruce Willis and Ashton Kutcher have ”mutual respect” In that they both mutually respect Bruce Willis.