Scott Brown’s Hit List
1 The L Word’s Cybill Shepherd ”always very interested in playing a lesbian” Though, right up until filming, she sort of thought it was a musical instrument.
2 Daryl Hannah nearly sold into sex slavery in late ’70s Back then, that was a euphemism for working with Burt Reynolds.
3 NBC yet to cast new Bionic Woman They can’t find a woman with multimillion-dollar enhancements in L.A.?
4 Justin Timberlake, Cameron Diaz reportedly split It’s the Law of Conservation of Sexy, Cam: For every Unit of Sexy gotten back, an equal Unit of Sexy is lost.
5 Liev Schreiber says ”It’s all about my size and my eyebrows” I don’t understand this, yet I will not dispute it.
6 Custody of Marilyn Manson’s cats, dachshunds in question as Dita Von Teese divorce proceeds Kit-kit and Schmooper hate it when devil-daddy and fetish-mommy fight.
7 50 Cent to create a line of condoms Caution: They react poorly with The Game-brand sensual lubricant.
8 Lindsay Lohan has appendix removed It was already preserved, saving a fortune in formaldehyde.
9 ABBA’s Björn Ulvaeus accused of tax evasion The Swedish IRS claims that for years he’s just been sending in a sack of used sequins.
10 Vatican orders rock opera based on The Divine Comedy Is Creed reading this? Please don’t let Creed be reading this.