Michael Slezak
January 29, 2007 AT 09:35 PM EST

Oprah Winfrey turns 53 today, and what was I going to do? Not honor her with a haiku? You know she has so much power and money that if she wanted, I could wake up tomorrow in a cardboard hut in the Arctic Circle with no idea who I am or how I got there. Also, she’s pretty awesome, so let’s get to work.

oprah, change my life
you have power, pretty hair
please endorse popwatch

You May Like