Annie Barrett
January 29, 2007 AT 04:00 PM EST

Maybe I’m just cranky because I’ve been gradually hacking up my left lung for the past few days (Luden’s cherry cough drops, you taste like delicious candy but really aren’t that effective when it comes down to it, duh), but I feel the need to comment on “health-conscious” Kelly Ripa’s plan to air her first Botox injection live on Regis & Kelly.

Can she NOT?

Ugh. I know why she wants to. “Ratings.” But, just, no! It’s bad enough that everyone’s having it done, at this point without even the slightest debate. Now the millions of perfectly fine-looking, home-grown peeps who think Kelly Ripa is awesome will become even more inspired to do it. I won’t pass judgment on the awesomeness of Kelly Ripa, but I’m fairly positive that Botox is NOT AWESOME. It’s gross. I hate it. This is really mean, but when I watch Desperate Housewives, I get this terrible urge to go around popping the about-to-burst-anyway eye sockets of the main characters just to see what would happen. It’s a real challenge to write the TV Watch for that show because I have trouble deciphering the indeterminate emotions of every woman except Mrs. McCluskey. Susan is… sad? Lonely? Look at Lynette — based solely on what’s coming out of her mouth, I’m guessing she’s ANGRY. Maybe? Wait, why does Bree look surprised? Oh, that’s just how she looks. Sometimes these constitute the entirety of my notes. (That would be on one of my “lazy” nights. But still.)

You walk along the street and the humans look like aliens! Does nobody care? *#%(@! Kelly, please!

You May Like