5:53 p.m. So, it’s finally here: Super Bowl XLI. Da Chicago Bears v. the Indianapolis Colts. I’ve been anxiously awaiting this game since… I found out I was going to write this blog. But seriously, it’s going to be an exciting evening: coaches Lovie Smith and Tony Dungy are making history as the first black head coaches to take their teams to the Super Bowl. Prince is performing the Half Time show. And people seem pretty enthused about this Peyton Manning kid. Let’s begin, shall we?
5:54 p.m. This is apparently Cirque du Soleil, but it looks like a Super Mario Bros. game. Also, I had pajamas just like that as a kid.
5:57 p.m. Of course, we all know tonight is really about the commercials. Bring ‘em on! Mmm, Combos. This reminds me that I have failed to go pre-Super Bowl grocery shopping. And the fact that I live in Chinatown means I have no idea where I could go to buy a bag of Combos. I hereby deem moo shoo vegetable acceptable Super Bowl cuisine.
6:04 p.m. Announcers make awkward comment re: Smith and Dungy. Good thing we got that out of the way.
6:10 p.m. Friend and moral support Peter has arrived to explain footbal to me. He did not bring any Combos.
6:18 p.m. Billy Joel sings the national anthem. It’s no “Irreplacable,” but it’s moving nonetheless.
6:20 p.m. I believe I will skip Norbit.
6:21 p.m. Jessica Simpson declares cheese-filled deliciousness from Pizza Hut to be her one true love. Which is funny, because the cheese-filled Nick Lachey was her last one true love.
6:23 p.m. Hey there, Dan Marino! Looking snappy.
6:24 p.m. Chicago wins the toss…
6:28 p.m. That was ridiculous. Dude just ran 92 yards in the first 14 seconds of the game! Chicago leads 7-0.
6:35 p.m. Bud Light, thumbs up. Blockbuster, thumbs down. Leave that poor mouse alone!
6:41 p.m. The highlight of that commercial break was, without question, the beard comb-over. I think the Colts should have gone for that look instead of the goatees.
6:47 p.m. Touchdown Colts! But no field goal for you. Bears still lead 7-6.
6:52 p.m. Man, those kids from Chicago sure can run.
6:54 p.m. Touchdown Chicago! I wasn’t expecting this game to be so exciting, to be honest. I’m a little overwhelmed, especially since I’m guilty of BWI right now. That’s Blogging While Injured. I went to open a can of soup yesterday and damn near lost a finger. But I’m trying to keep up.
6:57 p.m. And Chicago leads 14-6.
6:59 p.m. Oprah and David Letterman, eh? Well, well, well. Let’s think for a second about what would happen if those two decided to procreate. Actually, no. Let’s not.
7:05 p.m. If I was the person in charge of drawing those squiggly lines all over the screen, I would totally abuse that power. There would be devil horns and man-breasts all over the field.
7:08 p.m. Instant replays set to the Chemical Brothers– that’s something I can get into. Crumping during the Halftime show would be even better.
7:18 p.m. Peter explains what a turnover is (in addition to a delcious pastry– still no snacks for me!) using the remote control to symbolize das football. Apparently four turnovers in the first quarter is a Super Bowl record. Eating four turnovers during a Super Bowl quarter would also be a personal record for me. Sigh.
7:30 p.m. Chicago leads 14-9, but the real battle has just begun. I’m talking, of course, about CBS v. Fox. Super Bowl XLI now has to prove itself entertaining than X2: X-Men United, which is going to be a challenge.
7:31 p.m. Exactly which Doritos commercial are Dan and Wes responsible for? If it was the last one with the check-out girl, I have to tell you that one made me a little uncomfortable.
7:36 p.m. Ok, I promise to take better care of my heart after that last commecial. But why does Diabetes look like Kate Beckinsale in Underworld? That just doesn’t make any sense.
7:40 p.m. Colts lead 16-14…
7:46 p.m. The Wild Hogs preview: I smell Oscar!
7:56 p.m. Kick is a little wide of the mark, and the 1st half is dunzo. Get your raspberry berets on, kids, it’s nearly Prince time!
8:07 p.m. I thought I was going to be holding my breath for a Prince wardrobe malfunction, but he pretty much took care of that with the headscarf.
8:10 p.m. I am astonished that those dancers haven’t slipped. They are dancing in stillettos, in puddles!
8:14 p.m. He tok off the headscarf, but I think it’s ok. The FCC doesn’t have any specific regulations about that, as far as I know.
8:18 p.m. Wait, don’t show me Criminal Minds previews yet! I’m still digesting the Prince performance. A solid B+ Halftime, I gotta say. I didn’t once wish I was watching X2, and I almost didn’t once wish I was catching the first 15 minutes of House Of Wax. It just started on Cinemax if you’re interested, and you may still be able to catch Paris Hilton’s death scene.
8:33 p.m. Soup dumplings have arrived for dinner (thanks, Joe’s Shanghai!). I can’t concentrate on the game yet, though, because I’m still basking in the afterglow of a Halftime that didn’t suck in any way.
8:42 p.m. I enjoyed that Coke commercial, because everything in it was small and chubby. I’m pretty easy to please, when you get right down to it.
8:51 p.m. Things are kind of same ‘ol right now, so let’s talk umpires. I think it’s been black and white too long, and those guys need a wardrobe change. Don’t you think?
8:52 p.m. Wow, that was a close one. I think we’re in for another touchdown soon. In the meantime, thanks to all who are reading and commenting on this blog! I’m trying to keep things entertaining for you.
8:53 p.m. I really wish they would show that Jessica Simpson commercial again so I can make a joke about John Mayer being cheese-filled, too. And where’s K-Fed? I’m on pins and needles here!
8:58 p.m. We missed that last touchdown because we were
doing shots of tequila discussing the My Fave Five commercial. The best one is still the ‘Secret Lover’ one (“You don’t give another guy’s girl a foot massage, and you definitely don’t put her in your Fave Five!”)
8:59 p.m. and K-Fed is in da house! I know a lot of people are saying they respect FedEx for being able to laugh at himself, but come on: does the guy really have a choice? Do you think that commercial is going to help or hurt his shot at custody of Peanut and Peanut #2? On one hand, he has a job, but on the other hand he is totally neglecting those fries.
9:04 p.m. Chicago makes a field goal– or FG, as they say– bringing the score to 22-17
9:11 p.m. …and we’re back! By which I mean, the commercials are on again. Woo-hoo! I think Bud Light has made the strongest showing so far, followed by the beard comb-over and the slo-mo Doritos love story. K-Fed might have gotten an honorable mention were it not for all that internet hype. Gosh darn internet. All this instant gratification is spoiling my generation.
9:21 p.m. Touchdown for Indianapolis! Those Bears better step it up.
9:26 p.m. Right. Because when I think of extreme outdoor sports, I instantly think: IZOD.
9:29 p.m. Sometimes, when I see these guys tackle each other to the ground, I just wish they would start snuggling while they’re down there. In an alpha-male kinda way, you know?
9:32 p.m. Nice catch, Number 21!
9:34 p.m. “Side effects include runny nose and decrease in semen.” Um, next please!
9:38 p.m. In the interest of full disclosure, Old School started 38 minutes ago on Fox. We’re going streaking! Which makes me realize we haven’t had any streakers during this Super Bowl. Maybe everyone got it out of their system during the World Cup.
9:52 p.m. So Go Daddy.com is a site where you can buy a domain name for your own website? Man, I am in the wrong line of work. Apparently there are millions of dollars (and saucy commercials) to be made from the sale of non-tangible real estate.
9:57 p.m. They already poured the Gatorade on Dungy! Isn’t that a little premature boys?
9:58 p.m. Well, only by a minute, apparently. Way to go, Colts! Sorry Bears and Bears fans. That’s the way the cookie crumbles, I guess. If you’re feeling down, stay tuned for Criminal Minds and watch guest star Dawson– er, James Van der Beek– get his evil on. That oughta cheer you up.
10:01 p.m. It’s been great, Pop Watchers. Thanks for keeping me company. Bye-bye, Geico caveman. Bye-bye Dolphins stadium. Good night and good luck.