TV's funniest quotes: Pick the best | EW.com

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TV's funniest quotes: Pick the best

TV's funniest lines from Jan. 30 to Feb. 5. Read the expanded online-only version of our favorite quips, then vote for the best quote

”You will be by my side at all times. You will be my seeing-eye gay.”
WILHELMINA (VANESSA WILLIAMS), WHO’S TEMPORARILY BLINDED BY A WRINKLE TREATMENT, TO MARC (MICHAEL URIE), ON UGLY BETTY

”Of course I’m considering it. You know I’ve always reminded myself of Grace Kelly.”
JENNA (JANE KRAKOWSKI) TO LIZ (TINA FEY), ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF CONSUMMATING HER FLIRTATION WITH PRINCE GERHARDT HAPSBURG (PAUL REUBENS), ON 30 ROCK

”I spend a lot of time moving around people’s homes, their bedrooms. You get to know people if you see them when they think they’re alone. You see them for what they truly are: selfish, deceitful, and gassy.”
”INVISIBLE MAN” CLAUDE (CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON), ON HEROES

”You sounded like Cher after she’s been to the dentist.”
SIMON COWELL, DESCRIBING CONTESTANT MARIANNA RICCIO’S VERSION OF THE CLASH’S ”SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO,” ON AMERICAN IDOL

”I knew I had to get my arms waxed because otherwise I’d look like a transvestite.”
SARAH SILVERMAN, ON THE VIEW

”I’ll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast.”
T-BAG (ROBERT KNEPPER), TO MRS. HOLLANDER (K.K. DODDS), WHOSE FAMILY HE HAS TAKEN HOSTAGE, ON PRISON BREAK

”To promote the launch of Microsoft’s new Vista operating system, performers from the Grounded Aerial Dance Theater danced across a seven-story building in Manhattan. Wow, one of Manhattan’s famed seven-story buildings!”
SETH MYERS, ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

”Former Clinton adviser Dick Morris said, ‘Hillary Clinton will be the next president, but she’ll be the worst president we’ve ever seen.’ After hearing this, President Bush said, ‘Wait a minute, I’m not finished yet.’ ”
CONAN O’BRIEN, ON LATE NIGHT

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