Annie Barrett
February 14, 2007 AT 12:00 PM EST

This morning, mid-blizzard, I trekked over a few (avenue!) blocks to the St. Regis hotel for a photo op of the five desserts — based on the Best Picture nominees — created by pastry chef Sandro Miceli in preparation for the Academy’s New York Oscar Night Celebration. The fancy concoctions are pictured, left, on a plate surprisingly devoid of my gushing stream of drool. Arlene Dahl, ’50s film starlet, co-chair of the Oscar Night Celebration, and mother of Lorenzo Lamas, insists the treats have “no calories, of course!” No, why would they? Only ice cream makes you fat! So here they are:

Little Miss Sunshine
Lemon Chiboust with Coconut Bisquit

Chocolate Cremeux Tower with Praline Rice Crispies

The Queen
Royal Blueberry Clafoutis and Crown of Chocolate

Letters From Iwo Jima
Rising Sun Raspberry Chocolat Millefeuille (A.B.’s note: LOL!)

The Departed
Smokin Gun Caramel Chocolate Fondant

How do they taste? I didn’t stay for the press lunch, so I couldn’t sample them (hence the drool — more generates if there is extra longing involved). But how hilarious are these? Iwo Jima is a serious, challenging film so it gets French words and no e on Chocolat? Is The Queen filled with blueberries because she was sad — simply bursting with emotion, and berries, but beneath a sheen of semi-sweet glaze? Is The Departed trying to shoot The Queen off the plate, or is she somewhat invisible, making Scorsese’s a direct shot to Eastwood? Actually, The Queen‘s placement is so appropriate, because she can move in any direction, and must be protected by the other pieces, possibly excluding that “smokin” gun. My one amendment, if I had my way? Incorporate waffles and/or ice cream into Little Miss Sunshine. Just a single slab of chocolate ice cream-dipped waffle cone would do the trick, and class things down a bit.

If you’ll excuse me, it’s almost time to uncork the two bottles of wine — created exclusively for the Academy by Sterling Vineyards — we made out with from the event. Slezak’s gonna dance on the conference table singing Dreamgirls. It’ll be awesome.

What other desserts would be appropriate for some more of this year’s films?

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