EW Staff
February 16, 2007 AT 05:00 AM EST

Mary J. Blige likes to talk about how she’s finally learned to love herself — and she certainly stayed on message at this year’s Grammy Awards. We culled a decade’s worth of the R&B queen’s declarations of redemption.

2003 ”Happiness is a choice, and I made the choice to love Mary and stop looking in other people for answers that I need about myself.”

2006 ”It was all about me not loving myself. However you think about yourself is what is going to come to you. That’s what I discovered.”

2007 ”There was a time in my life when I couldn’t love myself enough to love anyone else. But now I’m in love. For Mary J. Blige, that’s rare.”

2002 ”You fall into abusive relationships when you don’t love yourself enough to think you’re worthy of anything better.”

1997 ”I didn’t love myself…. Mary didn’t finish [high school] and did stuff she had no business doing because she didn’t care about herself.”

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