Annie Barrett
March 08, 2007 AT 12:00 PM EST

But now who will squeeze the ladies’ armpits while they do the splits???

Louis Van Amstel (pictured) — a somewhat polarizing Dancing With the Stars fixture whom I happen to find awesome — posted on his official website called (yes) Dancing With Louis, that ABC did not ask him to return as a professional partner because he wasn’t tall enough. Boo! But today an Access Hollywood blog reports that Louis the LCXXXXXVIIIIth missed out on the gig because he’s too big of a diva. He apparently clashed with judge/choreographer Carrie Ann Inaba (British accent: “Carrie Ann Inaba!”) on the show’s official tour, and made dancers cry and threaten to quit. To which I respond in my head, “So? There shouldn’t even be a tour.” Anyway, if it’s gonna be like that — Carrie vs. Louis — I’d much rather have to never see Carrie. What gives? Are you mad that Louis won’t be around? Should he maybe tone down his persona  and become Louis Van Amstel Light?

P.S. Leaving a comment that says “Worthless post, this show sucks, bite it Annie!” is not helpful. But What Would Louis Do? Probably leave that comment.

addCredit(“Louis Van Amstel: Bob D’Amico”)

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