Michael Slezak
March 23, 2007 AT 11:35 PM EDT

So just when I’d finally come to the conclusion that, no, Madonna should not act again — late-night cable screenings of Swept Away will do that to even the most die-hard fanboy — out comes an ad campaign for the pop star’s new H&M clothing line that is wickedly addictive and twistedly funny. If you haven’t seen it yet…

Anyhow, I love this campaign so much that I would — no joke — tune in every week if the retail chain turned Madge’s stern fashion taskmistressbot into the lead character of a weekly network sitcom — think Sprockets meets Ugly Betty meets What Not to Wear. Just like the Law & Order‘s meet-the-corpse “dun-dun”  intro, each week’s H&M episode could begin the same way, with a hapless fashion victim being dragged before a style court, where Madonna would ask, “How can I help you?” Cut to 22 minutes of haute-couture courses, mildly violent fittings, and, of course, the final “look what they’ve done” reveals, complete with silent single tears from the mute female assistants, and you’ve got the perfect companion to 30 Rock.

Plus, it already got brilliant catchphrases.

Madonna: [Slap!]
Wacky “Mittel European” sidekick: “I lah-ve you!”

And I love it!

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