Former president Bill Clinton sure has been getting around lately. As a showbiz personality, that is. (What did you think I meant?) Last Friday, he helped announce TV Land’s new boomer-oriented programming lineup, including shows like The Big 4-0, George Foreman reality vehicle Family Foreman, and, um, 35 and Beyond Super Model Search. And on Sunday night, he introduced a special 60th-birthday concert by Sir Elton John. Clearly, saving the world and stumping for Hillary’s White House bid aren’t scratching Bill’s itches right now. Seems that, deep down, he’s a pop-culture fiend just like us. With that in mind, may we humbly present a few other distinguished showbiz roles that the 42nd leader of the free world might want to consider?
- Oscar host: Ellen was totally solid this year, if you ask me. But more than a few viewers were a tad disappointed; somespent the big night comparing her unfavorably to Billy Crystal’sclassic late-’90s run. All of which suggests that now’s the time foranother brilliant Billy C. from that decade to show ‘em how it’s reallydone. Besides, if Al Gore’s movie can win one, surely his old boss canhand them out.
- Hypeman: What’s Bill doing right now if not playing thecolorful, fan-fave sidekick while Hillary shows the world she’s astrong, serious leader? Those skills are just begging to be put to useon a rap song. Imagine Bill shouting out ad-libs in the backgroundbehind a booming beat: “Unhhh! I feel your pain!” “I did not have sexual relations with that woman! Nope!“(Tweak the wording on that last one a little and you’ve got aguaranteed club banger.) He’d put Flavor Flav to shame in no time.
- Film producer: If Bill’s nursing any jealousy over An Inconvenient Truth‘srecent Academy Award, this is the only way to go. We already know hecan raise funds like there’s no tomorrow, and what star would turn downan offer to appear in Bill Clinton’s next flick? Plus, now that Dan Glickman— who served as his loyal Secretary of Agriculture for six years — ischief of the MPAA, he should have no trouble getting whatever rating hewants, regardless of content.
- Simpsons guest: No former POTUS has ever nabbed thisholy grail of celeb cameo culture, as far as I can tell. (Unless thatwas really George H.W. Bush and Gerald Ford playing themselves on the episode that saw both retired presidents moving to Springfield.) Actually, Bill didappear on the show once,over 10 years ago, but he was voiced by Phil Hartman — and theepisode’s plotline involved evil extraterrestrials who body-snatchedBill along with then-rival Bob Dole. What kind of note is that to endon?
How about it, PopWatchers? Should Bill drop everything for a shot atone of these glamorous careers, or stick to his everyday grind?