Finally, America’s Next Top Model has outwardly embraced what it’s been dying to be about for years: drag queens! (They’ll be referred to as DQs for short, mostly because I like to be reminded of Dairy Queen.) Over-the-top DQiness is a Top Model tradition steeped in his/herstory. One of my roommate’s and my most favorite pastimes is shouting a running count of times the girls are expressly styled to look like DQs according to the whims of the J’s. Usually the count climbs up to at least 40, especially during photo shoots. “Annnnd you’re a drag queen… Oh, hey, a drag queen…. DRAG QUEEN!… Woman… oh no wait… drag queen.” We even have a theory that, led by the draggiest Q of them all, T-Banks herself, the panel selects contestants with the sole criteria of “But would she make a good drag queen?” So imagine how thrilled I was by last night’s photo shoot, in which the girls dressed up as guys and partnered up with real-life DQs (read: hired actors), gender-bendering us beyond our wildest dreams! Who’s the DQ in the photo? Her! No, him! That’s a she. You’re a she. He. She. Ruffles. Miss J.
I also loved how, just when we thought the show couldn’t become a bigger bubbling vat of liquid crack mixed with leggings, biscuits (for Twiggy) and bad hair weaves, a stubble-faced Diana made this shrewd remark to Renee during Jael’s photo shoot (pictured — no really, the female is on the left): “Jael looks like a crack-head!” This was subtitled, for our benefit. And it’s true. Just yesterday I saw an almost identical-looking crack-head on the subway. Is crack-head even supposed to be hyphenated? The producers would definitely know.
Actually, this could fall under a new PopWatch series called “I don’t know what they’re on, but can I have some?” Except I just decided they were on crack. I sure did crack that code! Next time, then.