Annie Barrett
May 16, 2007 AT 12:00 PM EDT

‘Tis a sad, sad day in the life of recent Elvis impersonator Ian Ziering (pictured, with Cheryl Burke), who will never get to confess things against the fake backdrop of someone’s grandmother’s house ever again! He will, however, get to return next week (along with everyone else) for the season finale. Speaking of which, here are a few things I’d like to see:
•Paulina and Alec: A Medley of Dancing and Luscious Hair… because she wanted to dance so badly and remains, oddly, my favorite contestant to date.
•Carlton Banks. Yet again.
•Paddle-throwing contest among the three judges. First one to hit Samantha Harris in the face microphone wins!
•Fringe! Sequins have been whupping Fringe’s ass all season, and frankly, I’ve had enough.
•Your turn!

Was it really Ian’s time to leave? Which dances do you want to see from which couples next week? (Apologies to everyone who wanted to post on yesterday’s TV Watch. Message boards remain invisible; feel free to comment here about this week’s performances.)

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