Missy Schwartz
May 25, 2007 AT 12:00 PM EDT

It’s time to go home. I know this because Dan and I have been here for 10 days. All the big movies have screened. I no longer run into people I know on the Croisette because they’ve all gone home. Festival goers have been replaced by skeevy Eurotrash. It’s time to go home.

I just did my last interview, with Eva Mendes (pictured, right) from We Own the Night There she was, camera-ready in a leopard-print trapeze dress, much bling, and sunglasses (even though we were indoors, at the swish Hotel Carlton). And there I was, in my sad little journalist’s uniform (that I actually thought screamed “I’m making an effort!” when I put it on this morning), the bags under my eyes visible from 200 feet, and my hair a flat disaster. It was a sorry sight. It’s time to go home.

Right before my encounter with Mendes, I chatted with her Night costar, Joaquin Phoenix (left), who told me he’s not even sure he’s going to the gala premiere of his movie this evening. Seems he never watches his films — not even Walk the Line­. But still. The star is considering not sitting through his own premiere. And seeing as the film was booed at one of two press screenings last night, I can’t say I blame the guy. It’s time to go home.

Butthe most indisputable sign that my flight tomorrow morning cannot leavefast enough came two nights ago, at the beach-side party for SonyPictures Classics’ terrific animated movie Persepolis. Justas I was griping about my espadrilles filling up with sand, I looked upand found myself gazing at Catherine Deneuve (who voices one of thefilm’s characters). Resplendent in a sparkly evening gown, she sippedchampagne and smoked as only Catherine Deneuve could. Once you’ve ogledFrance’s greatest living screen icon in her natural habitat, yourCannes journey is complete. C’est tout. Fin de l’histoire.

And so, Popwatchers, it’s time to go home. Adieu. Thanks for reading my missives. I hope to meet you here again next year.

In the meantime, I think I’ll go collapse now.

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