1 Paris goes to jail
Said the heiress: ”Ernest got through this, and so will I.”
2 Jon Lovitz to perform at Laugh Factory for the rest of his life
The sentence was rendered by Judge Gallagher, who gaveled a watermelon to adjourn the proceedings.
3 Tom Sizemore surrenders to authorities
He, too, will be sentenced to the Laugh Factory for life.
4 Jennifer Aniston is the new face of smartwater
It’s so pure, it kind of makes you want to sleep with the more dangerous water across the aisle.
5 Man facing up to three years in jail for uploading 24 episodes
He’ll be sentenced to 40 minutes, and serve five — then they’ll need his help to break up an even more terrifying ‘Yes, Dear’ ring.
6 On blog, drummer admits Police reunion concert in Vancouver sucked
”Every little thing we do is TRAGIC! I said to Sting, ‘Dude, don’t SUCK so close to me!’ Hoo!”
7 Rosie compares fame to meth
There are similarities: It feels good, it’s addictive, and eventually your nose falls off.
8 Denise Richards to play exotic dancer in indie film
Ah, indie film: where actors go to really stretch their legs.
9 Four Georgia ladies sue Deal or No Deal, alleging illegal gambling
When four Georgia ladies try to pull some wacky stunt, isn’t Meshach Taylor supposed to talk them out of it?
10 Mike Tyson wants to try Bollywood movies
He’s got the soprano for it.