Whitney Pastorek
July 24, 2007 AT 07:06 PM EDT

For many of you out there in PopWatch land, the impending Simpsons movie is a summer dream come true. You’re easy to spot: Standing in line in front of me at 7-11, choking down your weight in Slurpees and pink-frosted donuts; prefacing every noun with “Mmm…”; wearing those threadbare “Eat My Shorts” jams your mom bought you in junior high; or, if your initials are EW Senior Writer Alynda Wheat, squealing like a child when you see the Krusty the Clown doll I won on the Santa Monica Pier last night, then snatching it out of my hands and hugging it so tightly I’m pretty sure any chance of Krusty being a re-animated Chucky-type doll was squeezed right out. It’s okay. We all have obsessions. (And yeah, Alynda got to keep Krusty.)

But for the casual Simpsons fan (or the one that never did start watching it again once X-Files went off the air), it takes a little more than creative marketing to impress, to excite. But I’ve finally found a product to make me squeal with delight:


Even if that wasn’t a reference to the trailer (“Spider-Pig. Spider-Pig. Does whatever Spider-Pig does”), I think I’d still love it.* And I eagerly await the Spider-Pig spin-off franchise, because I think that logo would look simply outstanding in embossed pewter on a black background, don’t you? Quick: Let’s whip up a film treatment in the comments. We’ll be rich!

*NOTE: What does it say about me that two out of my three favorite Simpsons references revolve around swine? (“Uh, Mr. Simpson? I don’t think he likes that.” “Oh, yes he does. He’s so cute. Curly, straight! Curly, straight!”)

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