Michael Slezak
August 06, 2007 AT 12:00 PM EDT

I have a dream, a musical dream. Sometime next month, while scanning Billboard‘s Top 10 singles, I’d like to see Suzanne Vega’s name alongside the usual suspects Timbaland, Fergie, and T-Pain. What’s more, I want Vega to fight her way back to the charts with a song that opens with the lyric, “On the way to the bidet/Is when the trouble used to start.”

Now before you go bringing to life my deepest, darkest “they’re all gonna laugh at you fears,” remember this: Suzanne Vega is the Mistress of Unlikely Hits. She’s cracked the upper reaches of the U.S. charts twice before — by singing about child abuse and drinking coffee at a diner. You really want to bet she can’t enchant the masses with a tale about the star-crossed marriage of Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner? Check out the video for “Frank & Ava” playing over at Yahoo Music before you make up your mind. Each scene is staged like a moody little painting; if Edward Hopper had ever directed a video, it might look something like this. What’s more, I bet you’re tapping your foot and humming the “it’s not enough to be in love” bit by the second rendition of the chorus.

Yeah, it’s a long shot, but I say fairy tales can come true, they can happen to Sue, doo be doo be doo. Who’s with me on this one?

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