Help Seacrest not destroy the Emmys | EW.com

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Help Seacrest not destroy the Emmys

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Seacrest_lDid we all have the same reaction to yesterday’s announcement that Ryan Seacrest would be hosting the Emmys? Something along the lines of, Oh god, he’s not going to do a monologue, is he? Thankfully, the answer is no. Seacrest tells Variety, “I don’t feel like I need to do a song and dance and 15 minutes of jokes. The way I’m looking at the whole show, it’s about elevating everyone on their night, as opposed to making it my night … I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not. I plan to honor the class and the heritage of the Emmy.”
There are many things wrong with that statement:
1. “I don’t feel like I need to do a song and dance and 15 minutes of jokes.” I agree that you don’t need to do that, Ryan, but someone does. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not that fun to sit and watch other people accept awards for four hours. We need entertainment.
2. “It’s about elevating everyone on their night…” This is a phrase audiences never want to hear. They are stars. In formal wear. Accepting awards. They’re elevated enough. Again, make it about entertaining us.
3. “I plan to honor the class and the heritage of the Emmy.” Sounds good in theory, but you’re on Fox, Seacrest, the official network of self-promotion (see also: your gig hosting the Super Bowl). Do not, under any circumstances, let them talk you into another round of Emmy Idol.
Anyhow, we all know this is a heinous idea, but now that the decision is made, can you think of any other ways Fox could make the night a little less painful? And what could Super Seacrest, who’ll also be a part of E!’s pre-Emmy coverage, do that won’t annoy you? (After all, the guy’s competent enough on Idol, it’s just these Fox hosting gigs have got to stop.)