Nicholas Fonseca
August 28, 2007 AT 02:00 PM EDT

An avowed Dancing With the Stars fanatic known as, um, my mother unleashed a torrent of e-mail rage upon me, her unsuspecting son, in response to yesterday’s leak of the next batch of Dancing With the Stars hoofers. (The official list will be announced Wednesday on Good Morning America by judge Carrie Ann Inaba, pictured, and reigning champ Apolo Anton Ohno.) She’s not normally a woman of strong words — unless you count the time she snapped at me to “just wear the f—–g things” after I whined about a poorly made pair of angel wings approximately one hour before I was supposed to be onstage singing at the children’s Christmas mass — so I found the following e-mail worth sharing:

From: Mom
Sent: Monday, August 27, 2007 5:24 PM
To: Fonseca, Nicholas – Entertainment Weekly

Subject: Re: FW: TMZ EXCLUSIVE: “Dancing with the Stars” Cast Leaked!!

No, not Wayne Newton…. He drives me nuts!!!! Well I see that night will be free to watch something else!!! I can’t believe they couldn’t get better people than this.. I thought everyone wanted to be on this show!!!  Maybe this is all wrong (I hope). They just did it to throw people off!!!

So I’ve learned two things about my mother today: She uses three exclamation points when she’s especially riled up over her popular entertainment, and Wayne Newton is officially her reality TV dealbreaker. Say, who’s yours? Which “star” would drive you away from your favorite reality TV show if they suddenly waltzed onscreen?

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