Dexter 9/30, Showtime
Michael C. Hall’s murderous vigilante has — of all things — a crisis of conscience in season 2. A little late, don’t you think, Dex?
Curb Your Enthusiasm 9/9, HBO
After a nearly two-year hiatus, Larry David’s awkwardfest returns for season 6.
The Salt ‘N Pepa Show 10/15, VH1
Salt lives a quiet, religious life, while Pepa still parties and longs for the glory days. After five years apart, it’s obviously time for a reunion on VH1.
Dr. Steve-O 10/1, USA
Steve-O of Jackass fame sets out to ”de-wussify” wimps with outrageous challenges. The best (or, perhaps, worst) part? His ”nurse on duty” is none other than The Real World: Las Vegas reality queen Trishelle Cannatella.
I Love New York 2 10/8, VH1
We love New York — and her continued search for Mr. Right.
Nip/Tuck 10/30, FX
It’s season 5 and Nip is getting a face-lift as the docs of McNamara/Troy move to the motherland of plastic surgery — L.A. Rosie O’Donnell returns as Dawn Budge and Portia de Rossi is on hand as (lesbian alert!) a love interest for Joely Richardson’s Julia.
Ultimate Force 9/25, BBC America
Sendhil Ramamurthy (Mohinder from Heroes) stars as a new recruit in a British military unit akin to Navy SEALs. No lesbian alert needed.
Lincoln Heights 9/4, ABC Family
School’s back in session for season 2, and Charles and Cassie are hot and heavy again.
The Sarah Silverman Program 10/3, Comedy Central
Sarah reconnects with her most famous one-night stand, a li’l fella called God.
South Park 10/3, Comedy Central
Cartman and his buddies invent new ways to offend in the 11th season.
Better Half 10/3, Bravo
A reality show in which your spouse tries to do your job. Kinda like Hillary.
Law & Order: Criminal Intent 10/4, USA
Plucked from the Peacock network, Chris Noth and Vincent D’Onofrio find a new home.
Drawn Together 10/4, Comedy Central
Tune in to see if this animated series still hates EW.
Queer Eye: The Final Season 11/1, Bravo
Carson Kressley waxes his last back.
Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style 9/6, Bravo
Because someone needs to take over for the Queer Eye fellas.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia 9/13, FX
Danny DeVito returns for season 3! Bring on the limoncellos!!
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team 9/14, CMT
Okaaay! Gimme a B for Boobalicious Blondes!
Real Time With Bill Maher 8/24, HBO
Okaaay! Gimme a B for Bill! Maher’s talk show returns for a fifth season.
Stargate Atlantis 9/28, Sci Fi
More fun with aliens is in store for the fourth season.