Aubry D'Arminio
October 02, 2007 AT 08:18 PM EDT

Straightaway:  What’s in the box? A head? A foot? A finger? A toe? Say “a jack” like my brother did, and I’ll hunt you down, The Bride-style.  We know whatever’s in there is moist, dripping, and made Linc go “huah” when he saw it.  And it’s not something dirty or a fresh-baked meatloaf.  As tempting as it might be, we can’t make the assumption that it’s a body part because: a) when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of u and mption, and b) that would be too easy, especially for this show.  So enter your hypothesis here.  I, for one, bet dollars to donuts it’s a fish, or those water samples Whistler prattled on about.  Then again, it wouldn’t make much sense for Susan to be giving those to Linc as a threat. 

If it is an extremity, that still could mean anything and — unless it’s something obvious, like a head — could be from any poor sucker (not just Sarah or L.J., which is, I’m sure, what we’re supposed to be freaking out about until next week).  As Walter tells the Dude in The Big Lebowski, stray phalanges to use in these situations aren’t hard to come by (“I’ll get you a toe by this afternoon — with nail polish”). 

Yet it would be pretty awesome if it was, say, C-Note’s or Maricruz’s severed noggin (courtesy of the Company) — sent to remind Linc/Michael that they are totally in control.  I know that sounds twisted.  I’m putting forth C-Note or Maricruz because they are both far away, and because I don’t think they’d kill L.J. or Sarah this early. In fact, I don’t think they’ll kill L.J. at all.  Do you?

addCredit(“Prison Break: Bill Matlock”)

The only thing we can count on is that — despite the ominousscenes-from-the-next — the box’s mysterious contents, however shocking,won’t stop Linc (or Michael) from fighting back. To quote Walter again,”These f—ing amateurs. They send us a toe and we’re supposed to s—ourselves with fear.” Not gonna happen.

But I digress.

Last night’s episode was clearly the best of the three so far. Whoelse thought Michael was going to have a total meltdown? This isn’tnecessarily a bad thing: I like that he’s becoming more human. The heatdoes crazy stuff to a person, I guess, especially when you’re wearing aFREAKIN’ SWEATSHIRT. Wenty, it’s time to tattoo up, this is gettingridiculous. My friend Pete — and some of you — pointed out that thebest thing about this season might be seeing Mike’s steelyintellectualism tank in favor of Linc’s street smarts, which arealready coming into play (the Company did frame him for areason). Sure, we saw some of this in season 2 — my favorite was whenMichael threw a hissy fit after Linc suggested forgetting aboutWestmoreland’s cash, grabbing L.J., and skipping out to Panama — butnot enough.

Whistler’s turning out to be a real evil piece of work in my book.First off, the bird guide: He’d scribbled “stampede” at the top of onepage and “61429” down the side. Apparently, these are directions towhere that mysterious “naturalist” took those water samples. I so don’tknow what to make of this. Nor did I catch the significance of any ofthe birds on that particular page. But I do know that a “whistler” is atype of Australian bird. It’s also possibly a sneaky way of sayingstool pigeon. He’s a whistler or a “whistle blower” — get it? Hmmmm.

And what is up with his accent? We’ve established that the characteris Australian. I’m no expert on dialects and I don’t expect him toimitate Paul Hogan (though it would be awesome if he said “That’s not aknife, that’s a knife”). Yet he sounds too English, too HughNancy Dancy to me. I doubt this is Chris Vance’s failing. He lived inAustralia for crying out loud, and isn’t Dominic Purcell on setoccasionally to point out when he slips up. I’m thinking it it’s got tobe part of the plot.

I’ll admit that seeing Whistler and Sofia together was kinda cute.However, if she got Lincoln’s name and address off the visitor’smanifest at the prison, shouldn’t she have figured out earlier that”Scofield” wasn’t Whisty’s lawyer?

Some parting thoughts:
1. I love Michael, but he should at least be trying (in his free time)to hook up Alex with his meds. Honestly, Mahone’s going to be nothingbut an asset, and I have a feeling Mike’s gonna need him when thingswith Whisty go south. And he was pretty smart to figure the wholeWhistler/Breakout thing out in the first place.
2. I hope T-Bag gets rid of Lechero’s second in command (let’s call himNumber Two). He’s a bit shrill — and a bit boring — for my taste.
3. For those of you that grew up around Jersey, didn’t the town wherethe kidnappers stashed Sarah and R.J. look a bit like Wild West City ( 
4.  How’d they get such awesome music in Sona? I wonder if someone can compile a song list. 
5.  Lastly, I have another favorite quote, this time from T-Bag: “Don’t bite the hand you’re trying to get fed out of.” 

So what do y’all think? Any ideas about the box? How about whenBellick’s gonna make it back into the main plot? Did you also go”awwwww” when Sucre showed up drunk and passed out at Linc’s door?

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