Oh, those daftBrits and their bloody lists! The listeners ofBBC’s 6 Music took a vote and decided that “Ebony & Ivory” isthe worst musical collaboration of all time. To which I say,”Seriously?” I mean, I could be biased on this one, seeing that myhusband and I dazzled our guests with a slurry rendition of the song at ourpost-wedding-reception nightcap at the Holiday Inn in Amsterdam, New Yorkback in ‘04. But also, in spite of its lyrical content (“Side by side onmy piano/Keyboard/Oh lord/Why don’t weeee?”), I can think of dozens ofcollaborations worse than Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder’s harmless ditty. (Pictured are Wonder and McCartney performing said harmless ditty together in 1989.)
How aboutMariah Carey and Boyz II Men’s “One Sweet Day” (below)? I know, I know, itwas a huge hit. And it means a lot to a lot of people. (Why?) But that song islike melisma throwing up a pound of Splenda into the face of schmaltz. I justtried listening to it from start to finish, but the way Mariah and the Boyzgang up on every note like hyperactive teenagers playing Whack-a-Mole, I had topress pause and go to the happy place for a few minutes.
So anyway,that’s one vote for “One Sweet Day.” Let’s build a better list ofunspeakable collaborations in the comments section below. And if you want tosee the BBC 6 Music top 10, check for it after the jump!
BBC 6 Music’s Listeners’ 10 Worst Collaborations Ever
1) Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder, “Ebony and Ivory”
2) Arthur Mullard & Hilda Baker, “You’re the One ThatI Want”
3) Mick Jagger & David Bowie, “Dancing in the Streets”
4) Bing Crosby & David Bowie, “Little DrummerBoy/Peace on Earth”
5) Renée & Renato, “Save Your Love”
6) Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson,”The Girl Is Mine”
7) Elton John & Pete Doherty, “Children of theRevolution (Live 8)”
8) Puff Daddy & Faith Evans, “I’ll Be Missing You”
9) Elton John & George Michael, “Don’t Let the Sun GoDown on Me”
10) Band Aid, “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” (TIE)
10) Girls Aloud & Sugababes, “Walk This Way” (TIE)