I’m sure that, during their hollowed-out volcanic planning retreat, Jessica Alba’s management cabal presented their client with a spiffy Powerpoint flow chart showing her career trajectory. Sci-fi TV show hottie → superhero movie hottie → diving flick bikini hottie → film noir stripper hottie → Dane Cook. Clearly, the natural progression points to “Asian horror remake hottie.” And so: The Eye (due next February).
It’d be nice if, just once, when remaking an Asian horror flick, the filmmakers didn’t so slavishly try to replicate the dank, moldy look. It was fresh when we first saw The Ring six years ago. Now, it just looks tired. Take the foundation of the plot — it’s The Hand meets The Sixth Sense (“Someone else’s eye sees dead people!”) — and spin it somewhere fresh.
There is one thing interesting about this trailer, though: If Jessica Alba was blind, I might actually have a shot.