In honor of the release of Full House: The Complete Series, EW challenged self-proclaimed champions of unironic television Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher to watch it all in one sitting. That’s eight seasons, 192 episodes, 75 hours. Below, excerpts from their diary.
Day 1, 11:04 a.m., Episode 1
The pilot, in which recently widowed Danny Tanner (Bob Saget) welcomes brother-in-law Jesse (John Stamos) and best friend Joey (Dave Coulier) into his home to help care for his three daughters, surprises us by opening with some genuinely funny moments. Then, six minutes in, Joey does his first Popeye impression.
Day 1, 2:28 p.m., Episode 8
We set up a Gazelle exercise machine purchased solely to offset the long-term health effects of watching television for four days straight. While burning calories, we enjoy a solid season 1 episode in which Jesse and Joey bicker over a mutual love interest, rendered in Rashomon-style flashbacks. Maybe the fatigue is getting to us already. We just compared a Full House episode to a Kurosawa film.
Day 1, 11:01 p.m., Episode 28
When the oldest of the girls, D.J. (Candace Cameron), wins tickets to a Beach Boys concert, the entire band inexplicably arrives at the Tanner household to sing ”Kokomo” in the living room. Brian Wilson looks uncomfortable throughout most of the scene.
Day 2, 4:19-5:53 a.m., Episodes 42-46
The weaker one of us (okay, it’s Joe) nods off, leaving Nick to panic when the DVD suddenly stalls mid-episode. The disc resumes moments later, just in time for the first utterance of baby Michelle’s (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen) catchphrase, ”You got it, dude!” Nick is starting to seriously doubt he can handle two more days of this.
Day 2, 10:28 a.m., Episode 58
The opening theme song is starting to get really irritating. The lyrics pose the question, ”Whatever happened to predictability?” The answer: nothing. Predictability is alive and well on Full House, as in this episode in which Danny feels he’s too uptight and overcompensates by being a slob at a poker game. It is seemingly the umpteenth time that a character has undergone a complete transformation for 20 minutes and then learned to be normal again at the end.
Day 2, 2:21 p.m., Episode 68
When people describe FH as so-bad-it’s-good, they’re thinking of this: Danny hosts a charity telethon. Staff talent-show alert! Joey does stand-up and Jesse rocks out with the Beach Boys’ Mike Love, who mumbles his way through his scene. Stephanie’s (Jodie Sweetin) ”Love Shack” dance routine followed by D.J. singing ”Lollipops & Gummi Bears” might be the most hilariously bad three minutes in the history of TV.
NEXT PAGE: D.J. develops an eating disorder! Michelle loses her bike! The Beach Boys show up… again! Plus, a bonus tally of your favorite Full House catchphrases