Michael Slezak
January 07, 2008 AT 08:40 PM EST

The CSI: Miami maestro, master of the dramatic pause (sunglasses-donning included!), turns 52 today. Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Write the flame-haired thespian a birthday haiku. I’ll get the party started:

shades on. that’s your shtick.
but for a real spectacle,
try a monocle!

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