Slezak: Dateline is done. According to NBC: Tonight is about Tough Guys Vs. True Love!
Annie: Is NBC implying its Globes coverage is “amazing” by playing “Amazing” in the background?
Slezak: Entertainment Weekly’s DAVE KARGER! He looks so dapper, right down to his shoes!
Annie: Oh my god, how much do we love Dave Karger? And Dave Karger’s spiffy tie?
Slezak: He may be the only source of glamour all night!
Slezak: Oh shoot! I kinda wanted Tilda Swinton to win for Best Supporting Actress in a Movie.
Slezak: Why is Billy Bush being allowed to comment on the winners? Where’s Dave?
Annie: Oh God, are Billy and Nancy going to “comment” on every win?
Slezak: I am rooting for Ted Danson in Best Supperting Actor TV.
Slezak: Jeremy Piven? Fresh choice!
Annie: He can’t accept his award ’til he shaves the head.
Slezak: This is all happening so quickly, and unexcitingly. Are you missing actors listing their agents, attorneys, and key grips in their acceptance speeches? I can’t believe it, but I actually am!
Annie: I’m really not. I do miss watching everyone attempt to walk up to the podium in an outfit that doesn’t allow for breathing.
addCredit(“Billy Bush: Jack Guy”)
Annie: Oh God, I really can’t handle the thumping Access Hollywood music bringing us “back to the studio.”
Annie: This is ridiculous!
Slezak: I’m not mad about Glenn Close… I was pretty addicted to Damages. Except for Rose Byrne.
Slezak: Nice track suit on Samantha Morton in that picture they just showed. Yeesh.
Slezak: The Biggest Loser ad was more emotionally compelling than this press conference.
Annie: Ah, aren’t they always…
Annie: Seriously, this house music.
Slezak: And why is it Bush and O’Dell say everything in the same exact cadence?
Annie: I think they were programmed by the same toymaker.
Annie: Jon Hamm rules in Mad Men.
Slezak: It’s kind of a bummer he doesn’t get to give a speech, call more attention to the show.
Slezak: Did she just mispronounce Ratatouille?
Annie: Of course.
Slezak: Amy Adams was a-mah-zaing in Enchanted. Such a ridiculous premise, and I bought her every inch of the way. It seems like if Golden Globes wants to give out comedy awards, they ought to separate musicals, no? I mean, really, La Vie en Rose is a drama!
Annie: But most pundits would say Marion Cotillard had to win that.
Slezak: Shouldn’t she be competing in a different category, though?
Slezak: Can they still have a Debbie Allen dance routine? Or would that be a no-no with the strike?
Annie: Dancers are not on strike! Ask my bedroom mirror.
Slezak: I am STILL scared of Bardem to this very second. He HAD to win that more than anyone else all night long.
Annie: Am I the only one who saw his character as almost comical at times?
Slezak: No, he was very funny at moments.
Annie: OMG DAVE KARGER!
Slezak: He should be the only one who’s allowed to comment on winners, not Bush and O’Dell.
Annie: I don’t know why he’s not the only person allowed on-camera. I want to watch, like, a fireside chat with Dave Karger. He’d have cocoa.
Slezak: Guess what, Nancy O’Dell? I was not pulling for Debra Messing. Also, you do not disrespect The Queen. I mean, I know she does P’Zone voiceovers, but still…
Annie: YAY COMMERCIAL!
Slezak: Best Actor in a TV Comedy definitely should go toAlec Baldwin. That is all. If someone else wins, let’s not acknowledge it.
Slezak: When they say “Lee Pace,” it sounds like “Felipe” to me. Also, could you hear the producers of Californication groan when Billy Bush said how cool he thought it was?
Annie: Ew, I hate how Billy/Nancy are already grinning widely as soon as they’re “on” again.
Annie: STOP BEING ON.
Slezak: THEY ARE ALWAYS ON!
Slezak: I don’t know who is in charge of deciding the difference between comedy and drama, but I think they need a tutorial, stat!
Annie: I forgot what a spot-on Seinfeld impression Tina Fey does… and it’s funny that she has to be CRYING to do it.
Slezak: And she won! TEEE-NAH! TEEE-NAH! TEEE-NAH!
Annie: OMG DAVE KARGER is back on. And Dave Karger said “butt”!
Slezak: I know it’s silly, but it makes me giddy to see him on TV when he works just down the hall from us!
Annie: He shared his Roisin Murphy album with us!
Slezak: Can we talk about how great the Roisin Murphy CD is? I know you and Dave loved her long before me, but it is FANTASTIC.
Annie: We already talk about this three minutes per day. Hey everyone (all three of you still here), watch this video!
Slezak: I did not like For Your Consideration except for the part where they did a great riff on Access Hollywood, and tonight really reminds me what a good job they did on that.
Annie: Oh, it was awesome. Jane Lynch and Fred Willard should have hosted this instead.
Slezak: YES! Jane Lynch rules!
Slezak: Johnny Depp may have been great in Sweeney Todd, but he did not “invent” his part, no matter what Billy Bush says.
Annie: Oh my God, he has NO CLUE what he’s talking about, and the hand gestures make it worse!
Slezak: Did you know some other channels already announced ALL the winners like 20 minutes ago? NBC is just dragging it out.
Annie: We’re so alone here.
Annie: Hold me, sweet potato soup, which is now freezing cold.
Slezak: (Maybe this blog item should be filed under “Things That Make Me Die Inside.”)
Annie: Do it.
Slezak: You didn’t finish eating?
Annie: I abandoned chip.
Annie: (I’m so gross.)
Annie: I was dipping quattro-colored Terra chips into my S.P. soup.
Slezak: I am on my last drop of Sauvignon Blanc. Tragedy!
Annie: Make it last! Which is not what I’d suggest to BillyNancy.
Annie: Yes, Mad Men again! Cigarettes and hard liquor for everyone!
Slezak: May I quote Billy Bush? “Great sleek sexy show. Early ’60s. Madison Avenue. Though there’s a lot of smoking going on in the movie.” Literally. It is not a movie. It’s TV show.
Annie: You still have the sound on? I’m playing Roisin (thanks, Nick!) and watching this mess on mute.
Slezak: But Billy Bush is HIGH-larious. He just said, “[Julie Christie’s character’s] husband has to put her in this oldfolks’ home. It’s incredibly sad… but she somehow brings incrediblegrace and dignity to it.” Which is something he’s not doing with this telecast.
Annie: OMG DAVE KARGER ON DA PODIUM! Push them, Dave, push them!
Annie: It’s over. We’re still alive.
Slezak: Barely. And I don’t have any wine left.
Annie: I do, and I need some. Bye!
Slezak: And goodbye to you, PopWatchers! Thanks for hanging with us tonight! See you at the Oscars!