Michael Slezak
February 14, 2008 AT 08:15 PM EST

I know, I know… you don’t need to tell me this has gotten out of hand. I’m the one who spent my afternoon attempting to bleach a doll’s hair in a plastic dish of Clorox (click here if you think I’m making this up), and it would not change color. Also, the fumes gave me a slight headache. But keep in mind, Tyra sometimes has to go to Plan B during the makeover episodes, too. Nothing a pair of scissors and an electric razor couldn’t fix! And with that, we now continue with America’s Next Top Doll with the evaluations already in progress…

Tyra: Audrexinia, here’s your best shot! Now I know this was your first photo shoot since we gave you your fierce new “Mia Farrow” bob, but Mr. Jay said that on set, you were crying about the fact that Ken Paves left you with visible bald patches.

Audrexinia: I didn’t mean to. It’s just that… well, it really hurt where he’d broken the skin.

Tyra: But now the judges can finally see the girl who’s alive and bleeding on the inside.

Twiggy: I do lllloave the way your right arm looks like it’s been violently separated from the shoulder socket and is sort of suspended there in mid-air. Very androgynous.

Nigel: I can’t tell if you’re wearing anything underneath those flowers. Are you wearing anything underneath those flowers?

Tyra: Also, you can’t just rely on an edgy haircut. I handpicked you as a finalist because your puffy face and grotesquely large eyes completely undermine the idea of what’s beautiful right now. But you didn’t embrace the idea of hydrangea in this photo shoot. [Smiles broadly.] Thanks, Audrexinia.

Audrexinia: Thank you.

addCredit(“America’s Next Top Model doll: Michael Slezak”)

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